Enjoying Indonesian BBQ at the nicest warung (food stall) in Indonesia. Cultural Differences
One thing that is very different about Indonesian culture is that waiting in line is really not as important as in the US. From what I've seen, this has begun to change and many people have started making an effort to wait their turn, but it is far from being the case for everyone. This is no more evident than at the airport.
Last week, I was waiting to check in to a flight at the Surabaya Airport. There was a line of about 20 people waiting patiently to check in. I was incredibly impressed. So many times I have been frustrated by having to fight my way with everyone else to the front, only to have my conscience kick in and let the woman in front of me go first (who inevitably turns out to also be checking in her entire extended family).
Anyway, this time things seemed to be going well. As I was waiting in line, a very nice Indonesian man who was standing behind me asked me in English where I was from. The guy, Abdul, was incredibly courteous and seemed to have a genuine interest in what I was doing in Indonesia. As we progressed towards the front he asked me some of the usual questions, "how long have you been here?" "do you like Surabaya?" "are you married?"
Finally we got within two people of the front of the line. My flight was leaving in about 45 minutes and - having been used to airport checkins in America - I was starting to get nervous. It was then that Abdul, who had been standing behind me in line, not only jumped in front of me to hand his reservation to the desk (while I was stuck looking for mine), but also managed to shove his three children, wife and two people I assumed were his parents in front of me. I waited for a further 10 minutes while Abdul argued with the airline representative over seats, baggage limits and the airport tax until finally it was my turn. As he was leaving Abdul beamed a huge smile at me and said "sampai jumpa" which literally translates to "until we meet again."
... and meet again we will, Abdul.
Orang Tua Saya di Indonesia! My Parents in Indonesia!
My mom with her new friend on the bus tour of Surabaya. I waited with the 75 or so Indonesians who were also waiting for friends or family. When my mom came up we both ran up to see each other and hugged for what must have been ten minutes. The people around us appeared to be baffled as to what these two bules could possibly be doing at the Surabaya Airport that would make them so happy to see each other.
That night we went back to our hotel ready to begin a very fun vacation. On Sunday, we did the one touristy thing you can in Surabaya, go to a cigarette factory! We started by taking a free bus tour around the city at 9am. We learned all about the Indonesian struggle for independence (which Surabaya was the center of), the mythical foundations of the city and about Javanese culture. Despite being the only three people not from Indonesia, our guide still insisted on speaking in English about 70% of the time. My parents quickly adjusted to two parts of Indonesia on that tour.
Firstly, Indonesians are amongst the friendliest people in the world. Everyone on our tour wanted to greet my parents and I with what little English they could, the best of which was when little kids would run up to my mom or dad, shout "MY NAME IS," and laugh hysterically before sprinting away (without telling us their name). Throughout our stay, they would discover how much of a part of my life personal conversations are. They were constantly asked about their jobs, their other children, what they think of Indonesia, how long they have been married and even how old they are. Sidenote - one of my students asked my parents when they visited the school how old they were, and when my dad hesitantly told them he looked around and proclaimed "wow."
Five of the two hundred kids of my neighborhood with my parents.Secondly, Indonesians LOVE taking photos. Throughout their trip, my mom and dad were stopped and asked to take photos with everyone (12 year old girls all the way up to 65 year old men with cellphone cameras). I'm pretty sure that both my mom and dad found this to be among the more amusing parts of their visit. That second night we followed the bus tour of the city with a visit to Al Akbar Mosque (the second largest in Southeast Asia). As I was walking with my dad around the interior, a very stern looking Indonesian man approached us. I thought he was going to reprimand us for doing something wrong, but as soon as he got to us he broke into a huge smile and asked us where we were from. Five minutes later he politely requested to take a picture with us, only to be disappointed that his camera had no more memory space.
In Surabaya they also visited my neighborhood. They played with and met the same people that greet me in Indonesian every night when I return from work. They played with the kids who constantly keep me entertained, they sat on the porch which is constantly filled with jovial Indonesians, and were lucky enough to meet Ibu Kartini - my delightful neighbor and surrogate mother in Indonesia. I think they were able to see how I can be so happy here in Indo, if only because I'm always surrounded by so many amazing people.
My Indonesian Ibu and my real Ibu and Bapak. On Monday morning we did what both my parents said was unquestionably their favorite part of the trip: a visit to SMA Khadijah!! We arrived at around 7 in the morning to what was a fantastic welcome. We had been privileged to have dinner with some teachers and administrators from my school (most of whom speak very very good English), so my parents already knew that they would be well received, but neither could anticipate the degree to which that was the case.
I mentioned to the principal of my school that my parents were planing on coming about a week before they arrived, and he suggested that classes be canceled and all 500 students gather in the main hall to be addressed by my parents. While this no doubt would have been hilarious, I decided that visiting individual classes would be a more effective use of their time.
When we arrived we were greeted with everything from coffee and tea to traditional Javanese cakes that my parents and I swallowed up. My school's principal, Pak Suwito, proceeded to tell my parents about the school. Of all the things they were impressed with, what really got to them was how the school has transformed itself. Just six years ago, the school had three computers that had to serve over 500 students. Today it has over 130 (over one for every four students). My dad, as someone who has spent his entire career working in technology, was very impressed.
Arti, center, was assigned to be the photographer for the day and follow my parents around taking pictures, with my parents, right, and Pak Suwito, left.We started with a tour of the school led by Pak Suwito and some of the other teachers. In the course of just two hours, we were able to see almost the entire complex as were were shuttered from class to class. In almost every room, my parents were presented with questions. My personal favorite question was when the students asked them what they thought of Surabaya. I had helped them prepare for this one and they always augmented their answer by telling them the truth: "Surabaya is MUCH better than Jakarta!" This always elicited cheers and applause (Surabaya and Jakarta are like Boston and New York are to Americans, people from the first city are constantly trying to achieve the recognition that they believe their city - which is smaller and less known internationally - deserves).
My parents answer questions from a class. My dad told this class that when I am in a bad mood they should just tell me "Mr. Jack, Go Sox." They were incredibly confused as to why that would cheer me up.On the suggestion of some of the staff, we returned to the teachers room just before we had to leave. My parents were invited to address the teachers and to listen to a welcome dance. Some of the 12th grade students performed some welcome music called the Qasidah Al Banjari. As they were sitting there listening to beautiful Arabic music and getting the attention of so many teachers I think both my parents were totally amazed. No where in the world that they have been have they been as well received as they were that morning. Being refferred to as Mr. Bob and Ms. Jennifer they were welcomed fully as a part of the community.
My parents with Anas (aged 6) and Uyun (aged 9). I call them guru-guru saya Bahasa Indonesia - my Indonesian teachers. My parents fell in love with my school as my school did with them. They instantly posted an article about their visit to their website which can be seen here.
On Monday, we left for what would prove to be one of the most beautiful places we were to go: Lombok. Located about an hour flight away from Surabaya, Lombok is proudly known by those who live there as "the new Bali." While Bali is quickly becoming overcrowded, too expensive and dedicated more and more to serving Australian college kids, Lombok is none of that. Lombok has both beautiful Hindu temples, and impressive Mosques. It also is known for the beautiful quality of its hundreds of beaches and little islands.
This part of the trip was a mix of lying on perfect white sand beaches, visiting awe inspiring temples and meeting even more friendly Indonesian people. On our second day there, we finally escaped the confines of our hotel to explore a beautiful temple built into volcanic rocks on the side of the ocean. As the sun set and we were drizzled with some light rain we entered the temple. With sashes tied around our waists we walked towards the front and the smell of inscense hit us. The combination of all of these senses being affected at the same time led to one of the most memorable visits to any religious site in my lifetime.
At a Hindu temple carved centuries ago from volcanic rock.We also visited craft villages all across the island with the help of our driver. My parents were able to return to America with beautiful pottery, wood carvings and handwoven clothes. In each place, they were shocked to see how dedicated to their craft people were. It was easy to see also how tourism has been affecting it (largely I think for the better at this point). When we were at the weaving village, my dad wanted to buy some things but didn't have enough cash. The women who ran the cooperative quickly told him: "Its no problem, we take visa!"
With the women from the weaving cooperative and our driver who calls himself "Harry, like Harry Potter." We also spent two days in the paradise that is the neighboring Gili Islands. The Gilis may honestly be among the world's most picturesque places. They are all home to no more than about 2000 people between the three of them, and have some of the nicest beaches in the world. In Southeast Asia they are quickly acquiring a reputation for the best diving around. We braved our fears and all took part in an hour long dive with the help of our French instructor who sounded like she honestly could be Jacques Cousteau's neice. I kept thinking to myself that I should title my facebook album about the Gilis "Heaven is a Place on Earth." Then I remembered how cliche naming facebook albums after songs is.
At the end of their trip I think my parents returned to America with an experience they will never forget. They discovered that Indonesians are an amazing people surrounded by an amazing landscape. One that I remind myself every day is a privilege to live amongst. A privilege which I hope never to forget.
